nice video. I’m in such deep pain right now, lost in the sweet memories of our time together. Every moment we shared fills my heart, and all I long for is his return even though I’m not sure how to make that happen.
13:56-14:23 I was surprised to hear that some people choose partners based on how they make them look rather than true compatibility and feeling at home with someone. But then, I remembered my therapist telling me that more than 50% of marriages are unhappy-people don’t feel like they’re with their true partner. It hit close to home because I almost became part of that statistic. My first real relationship wasn’t in high school or college but as an adult. I was thrilled that a guy liked me back and even wanted to marry me. I thought I’d finally found "the one". But the relationship was emotionally abusive, and the stress made me physically ill. Despite all of this, I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I needed someone else to step in and help me because I believed that being with someone-anyone-meant I was finally good enough, that I was worth loving. It's heartbreaking to think how many of us have settled or are settling because we’ve been convinced that any love is better than being alone. But we are worthy more than just "good enough"' We are to feel safe, loved, and truly at home with someone.
What if we both felt at home but then she kissed somebody and that made her realize that she was indeed with the right person because she regretted it so much after and he told him, but how can one still be with this type of person, when any moment they could just betray you and say they didnt know what they were doing?🙃
This is a really great podcast. I really feel like the love in Titanic was much more dynamic than how it was shared. Titanic was about her falling in love with herself, discovering her authenticity, sexuality, and living life with what brings her joy. She was only given the window to see that through her brief relationship with Jack. Then, literally, My heart will go on. She moved forward and built a beautiful life. She wasn't pining over him for her whole life.
Funny, I watched that (only for the second time) last week, and I read this today. I was watching the movie with very experienced eyes, compared to the first time I was it, when i was very young and naive. I was thinking about just how their relationship might have played out had the Titanic not sunk, and it was fast and fierce, and I wondered if it would have lasted.
Im disappointed you had this guy on, such a hack. I was really enjoying your podcast.Im blown away how many people can't see it. Everything he says is repeated ovér and over and something a kid crush already expresses at age 6 or 7. There isn't an original thought that comes out of his mouth, mainly just waits for the host to say something then piggy backs on that. His own advice is adolescent and sugary sweet or meant to make you cry with a "look at me" mentality. Not sure I'm keeping my subscription now. Thought you were smarter than thisMel, too bad. When someone actually has something of substance to say, you ask really great questions, here you just repeated his line because all he's saying is so 5th grade reader that anyone with intelligence is rolling there eyes going "really, that's pathetic". Are his books written in crayon with pictures you can colour. Repeat, repeat, repeat, wow. Awful interview.not wasting anymore time, watched 15 mins of very uninspired drivel!
I'm in a new relationship, I've known the guy over 20 years. The new dating scene is different, even though I've known this guy this long, I know him a small bit, he surprises me all the time. Ways we show love to each other, not crossing important boundaries, and everyday life. He doesn't know everything about me, and I don't know everything about him. I also thank and acknowledge the things he does that makes me feel special. Guys love those things.
My beautiful 50+ yo cousin met a woman hiking who introduced her to her single brother. They have been happily married for years and have an adopted son. ✨💖✨
I watched Mathew’s videos back in 2015, met my husband in 2016, and we have been happily married since 2017. His dating advice is and has always been gold!
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
i've definitely thought the great qualities of an ex was normal and later found out that those qualities really arent normal. that's why i think it's important for a long term relationship to have space within it in order to get back that appreciation for each other's intricacies
24:28 YES! It's YOUR dream. It's selfish to think your partner should support your dream when it's not theirs! I'm so glad he said this. At first I thought he was going to say, "You need to live your happy life" but not address this aspect. OWN the fact it's YOUR dream, not theirs, and that YOU need to weigh what is more important. You may love that person, but being so far away, I wonder just how genuine, real that love is. That's why marriage clarifies a lot of these things. Now, I'm not all pro-marriage. I'm single at heart and personally think in today's world marriage is antiquated. What I'm saying is that marriage is where you definitely have to think about breaking a legal contract and thus makes it more serious.
The very first point in the video spoke volumes. I take my husbands kindness and sweetness for granted. I am more romantic and live life with passion and I want him to be more like me. This was an important reminder that I have much to be grateful for. We have 25 years in marriage and I want it to be for life. Thank you.
The second half of this video was gold. I realised that I have been getting better at setting my boundaries with men and communicating it better now when in the past I used to ghost. I love hearing Matthew and all his great advice. It's helped me more than anything
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I’m 51 and single I’ve been single for 12yrs too scared to get involved with anyone ever again… and I romanticise the idea of a relationship but I’ve never had a healthy one. So I avoid people all together and i know I’m missing out of a life a deserve but I know that finding someone is now slipping away because the longer I’m single and peaceful ❤ I choose my peace and my families peace, over the loneliness and the complex trauma, we are trying to recover from and I’m not throwing trauma into the conversation lightly we’ve been hideously mentally and physically abused by my longterm partner my children were removed from His care by the police when they were teenagers we’ve suffered a life that no one should ever have to I feel so sorry for my kids… people change and you can’t escape… so as much as I’d love to have a lovely loving supportive partner that accepts me and my children and wants to allow us, to just be ourselves and learn what actual traumatised people trying to heal looks like ❤
I am truly sorry that you had to endure so much abuse and trauma that you've been left to choose to be on your own. I'm four years into a similar situation. Once you've been through so much abuse and trauma, peace seems to be the most precious thing that you could have even if it is accompanied by loneliness. I hope and pray that you can heal enough that having a companion in your life becomes an enhancement to your life and not a need ❤
Such a good conversation… everytime between you and Matthew… so many takeaways and new realizations… thank you for sharing and for doing what u do both of you… making sense of what can be hard to make sense of in dating and relationships
As someone who’s been with his lady for 14 years. And always was a provider I lost myself being a provider and forgot what it was to have a relationship to the point I pushed her away. Away to someone else. What hurts is the holidays and kids and me not even realizing I was so lost until it was over . But I will come out of this a better person not only for me but for my daughter. These videos give clarity which is hard to find starting over.
I wondered and feared WHY couples look bored, or dont talk to eachother or wonder why sooner or later itll get that way, but now i have a new perspective that its the individuals to always evolve and learn to keep yourself "fresh" and the relationship fresh. Im sure it wirks if both partners understand and want this. Thank you !
Such a great episode. Matthew is always helpful. Mel, thank you for keeping it real by asking, "How rhe hell do you do that?" I am 60, still trying to decide how to handle my 31+ year marriage to a very incompatible partner. It is so easy to get stuck. I hope all watching this will take Matthew's advice about not wasting your time. Love to all.
I listen to this wondering if my ex and I were just incompatible or if she was a narcissist. The fact she had no remorse or was not hurt when she would hurt my feelings makes me believe she was a narcissist.
It’s not hard to bee singel, you have to feel good and live you life, when or if you find love you do, if not do something for you because nobody and only youself are the amazing life here and now. So live you life and keep smile ❤️
What Mathew is talking about around 5:50, I got it right away because that's the story of my life,the way people see me or not. And it doesn't just happen in relationships with men, but with family and friends. When people meet me, they tell me how great they think the x, y, z are about me, then they start taking me for granted, especially men. But overtime I started seeing it with family and friends too, just not to that extreme. They all think it's normal. I noticed the difference in how they treat me or in our relationship, but only two friends have actually noticed it and told me about it and that was only when they started being friends with a bunch of others people while I was in a different city. They saw that they don't have the same friendship.
this may seem counterintuitive but don't be consistent, don't let them think your favors and care are your responsibility, don't let them get used to it to the point that they won't even notice it. Do them sporadically and don't use sentences like "it was nothing" or anything that makes less of what you did when people thank you and if they don't even thank you bring it up lightheartedly. Some people will still take you for granted and you can choose to invest in those people as much as they invest in you after you see that but then there will be others who will learn to value your favors instead of taking them for granted. PS: all these must be very lighthearted and without resentment and as a matter of fact. "I'm not pissed or hurt that people don't value what I do, but I just won't do them if it's not valued because why would I do something that's pointless and takes time and energy" I hope this helps.
@@Nikki..... Thank you so much! It helps, I wish someone has told me that years ago. That ship has definitely sailed a while ago with my family and some friends. They do say thank you, on the mos part, but it's the things in between that I noticed which sometimes make me sad. I'll concentrate on being like that with men, who by the way, never thanked me for anything, it was completely one sided and quickly turned into "you're obliged to do..., and I'm still gonna say it's not enough".
As I start researching more into the Narcissist problems for our mother-in-law, I realize that "the apple never falls far from the tree". Most of the challenges we experience with our mother-in-law can be found in my marriage as well. I couldn't share my interests, thoughts and/or dreams with my wife without feeling a sense of D.E.E.P sadly.
As I listen, something comes to mind. A saying I heard a couple of years ago, "we listen to reply not to understand." There are a few different ones like this but they all mean the same
Love this! So inspiring! My mind’s been consumed by the thought of him. It’s been 6months he left and the pain of loosing him feels like physical ache. The laughter the memories,and adventure sadly it’s all gone. I’ve tried to get my mind off him and it seems like the more I try, the more I keep thinking of him. How do people let go and move on ? Cause It’s been months and memories of my man are still fresh. I miss him so much.
Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My heart breaks for you and I can imagine the pain and longing you must be feeling. Last year, my fiancé ended our 3yrs relationship for reasons best known to him. I would cry all night because I couldn’t imagine life without him. I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m here for u always. I reached out to a spiritual counselor for some guidance and it really worked for me My fiancé and I are back together.
"Be happy enough that you can say 'No' to the wrong person." This advice is very helpful to me! And the idea that I'm doing okay if am just "happy enough" with my single status, and not constantly Blissfully Happy is also extremely helpful! It takes pressure off of myself. I can be "happy enough." Thanks for your balanced ideas, Matthew! 😀⭐⭐⭐
Amazing guest. Such an intelligent and honest conversation. All so so true. ive been dealing with my lack of growth and have acted on it. I feel so much happier. “We are the home”… love that brilliant thank you both so much :).
So true! Do not stop growing, because you have to be fresh for your partner. Engage in new activities! Shortly after we started dating my BF just started spending evenings on the sofa watching Netflix. 😔 not only gaining weight because he quit going to the gym, but also watching senseless shows, like cooking or barbecue. (Ps. He never cooked anything from that) 😢
Great episode, what I have an issue with is, the switching gyms/classes to meet other people. if you are a regural member as I am, you have a monthly membership, which is much cheaper, it is not that easy to switch every week to go to new places to train and will become pretty expensive. I am happy to swap classes that still fit with my work schedule, but I do not wantot switch gyms every month, definitely not every week. For me, my gym is my Sancturay, the place where I take care of myself and keep myself healthy.
Absolutely loved this! So glad I listened to this today...EXACTLY what I needed and so much more! My whole life thinking one way just changed in minutes. Please have more conversations like these! Thank you so much for this gift❤
It might be good to define what "letting oneself go" means. An ex told me one time that I'd let myself go, when the only change I'd made was to go on the pill, which caused weight gain. (Then I'd only one top that fitted when we went out & I couldn't afford more clothes at the time). Other than that, I was treating myself exactly the same. (Edit, I dumped him shortly after that )
I send this to you with a caring heart. You are kidding yourself. There are so many birth control methods out there and clothing, I love luxury, I shop high end stores but I’ve sometimes I can find basic items on Amazon, Home goods and even Walmart. You can do it, if you open your mind to new ways and ideas. Wishing you the best🌺
Good on you for letting that person go. Go you for boundaries! That person is likely addicted to p and objectifying. Love someone for who they are inside, not how you think they should look for you to feel better. Objectifying sucks
A lot of people feel that yes their partner should be like them and that isn't always possible. People are different and have different values and are also in different places in their life. Their hobbies / interests are different. That's also what makes a person unique.
I have been hurt many times and i have decided to move on with my life but i feel like there is something still missing in my life, i need love in my life again
Man, so much good insightful stuff here that just inspires me to be better and finally gives me the answers I need when I've had writer's block for so long.
Thank you Meal for this amazing podcast ,it was helpful and genuine .the way that you speak about compromise rather than judgement it is the fondement of any relationship
Thank you so much for your kind words! We're glad our podcast could change your life, but just remember, we can't take all the credit. It was mostly the amazing lighting and our perfectly coiffed hair that did the trick. 😉
I ve notice though that a lot of people who try to teach others deal with their own problems and or have had years of unsucessfull relationships,marriages..its like u gathered the knowledge but do u keep havin disfunctional relationships? I like to listen to both matthew and lewis and both have had similar love life and its great seein them now in healthy relationship❤ I d like to ask would u recommend to give a relationship u ve ended a second chance after u ve done some work on urself or should u keep those doors closed forever?
Yes I understand entrepreneurs and yes I also understand the partners point of view. We all don't share the same values or enjoy the same things "activities."
Sorry to write on your timeline But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
OMG - My husband slipped into a depression after losing his job in 2021. He doesn’t bathe, doesn’t feed himself if I don’t cook for him, doesn’t help around in the house. Nothing is done for me. I have to advocate for him for all appointments. I love him, but I cannot do this anymore.
I would love to have dating and creating healthy relationships at 55 when you’re a confident widow who has done the work. I’ve been widowed for 16 1/2 years. You’re actually not covering widowed people. We need help too.
Wait, what happened at 21min? Suddenly from the fact that we need to change the way we tell ourselves love stories (now I wonder well, from what to what? And how?), to complements??
What if just one partner is interested in personal growth? What if only one comes up with new ideas, passions. What if only one reads, develops new hobbies, loves to experience new things? And the other one loves all the way it is?
The best way make ur self busy then u going to feel lonely and improve ur self physically mentally because strong mind handle bad things easily neither weak mindset
I am dreaming of a relationship that will make me feel valuable no matter what. A person who will be my partner and we both sustain each others needs. I am losing hope. 😔😔😔
I’ve listen to Matthew when I was single and now I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and married for 2 and I’m still amazingly happy.
That is so wonderful! I’m very happy you have that.
Soooo happy for you ❤
Love this ❤
happy for you
Happy to hear this, gives hope
nice video. I’m in such deep pain right now, lost in the sweet memories of our time together. Every moment we shared fills my heart, and all I long for is his return even though I’m not sure how to make that happen.
I know how it feels to lose someone you truly love because I’ve been through a similar situation before.
So how did you go through it?
I received help from a very powerful spiritual father amiosa who reunited me with my partner after I thought I had lost him forever.
where can I find him?
you can find him online.
13:56-14:23 I was surprised to hear that some people choose partners based on how they make them look rather than true compatibility and feeling at home with someone. But then, I remembered my therapist telling me that more than 50% of marriages are unhappy-people don’t feel like they’re with their true partner.
It hit close to home because I almost became part of that statistic. My first real relationship wasn’t in high school or college but as an adult. I was thrilled that a guy liked me back and even wanted to marry me. I thought I’d finally found "the one". But the relationship was emotionally abusive, and the stress made me physically ill. Despite all of this, I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I needed someone else to step in and help me because I believed that being with someone-anyone-meant I was finally good enough, that I was worth loving.
It's heartbreaking to think how many of us have settled or are settling because we’ve been convinced that any love is better than being alone. But we are worthy more than just "good enough"' We are to feel safe, loved, and truly at home with someone.
What if we both felt at home but then she kissed somebody and that made her realize that she was indeed with the right person because she regretted it so much after and he told him, but how can one still be with this type of person, when any moment they could just betray you and say they didnt know what they were doing?🙃
❤️❤️
Leaving my five year relationship because of emotional abuse. Hardest thing I've ever done.
This is a really great podcast. I really feel like the love in Titanic was much more dynamic than how it was shared. Titanic was about her falling in love with herself, discovering her authenticity, sexuality, and living life with what brings her joy. She was only given the window to see that through her brief relationship with Jack. Then, literally, My heart will go on. She moved forward and built a beautiful life. She wasn't pining over him for her whole life.
Funny, I watched that (only for the second time) last week, and I read this today. I was watching the movie with very experienced eyes, compared to the first time I was it, when i was very young and naive. I was thinking about just how their relationship might have played out had the Titanic not sunk, and it was fast and fierce, and I wondered if it would have lasted.
Im disappointed you had this guy on, such a hack. I was really enjoying your podcast.Im blown away how many people can't see it. Everything he says is repeated ovér and over and something a kid crush already expresses at age 6 or 7. There isn't an original thought that comes out of his mouth, mainly just waits for the host to say something then piggy backs on that. His own advice is adolescent and sugary sweet or meant to make you cry with a "look at me" mentality. Not sure I'm keeping my subscription now. Thought you were smarter than thisMel, too bad. When someone actually has something of substance to say, you ask really great questions, here you just repeated his line because all he's saying is so 5th grade reader that anyone with intelligence is rolling there eyes going "really, that's pathetic". Are his books written in crayon with pictures you can colour. Repeat, repeat, repeat, wow. Awful interview.not wasting anymore time, watched 15 mins of very uninspired drivel!
hello dear
Hello 👋
you are astonishingly beautiful and how is your day today and I will love to have a nice conversation with you
@@Felix4art192well friend, this is for the very inexperienced in the relationship field, literally anything helps
I'm in a new relationship, I've known the guy over 20 years. The new dating scene is different, even though I've known this guy this long, I know him a small bit, he surprises me all the time. Ways we show love to each other, not crossing important boundaries, and everyday life. He doesn't know everything about me, and I don't know everything about him. I also thank and acknowledge the things he does that makes me feel special. Guys love those things.
"Make life fresh for you..." Yes! Once we can learn new things we keep things fresh and engaging! Thank you, Mel for this!
My cousin who is married for 27 years always tells me how important this is
My beautiful 50+ yo cousin met a woman hiking who introduced her to her single brother. They have been happily married for years and have an adopted son. ✨💖✨
I watched Mathew’s videos back in 2015, met my husband in 2016, and we have been happily married since 2017. His dating advice is and has always been gold!
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks..
You wont regret it.
You see your partner reflected in your self…that’s the compatibility factor, then you have to work at it
i've definitely thought the great qualities of an ex was normal and later found out that those qualities really arent normal. that's why i think it's important for a long term relationship to have space within it in order to get back that appreciation for each other's intricacies
Good conversation and not blaming everything on narcissism for a change.
"There's not the right person" There are two different people trying to make things work.😊
Matthew has so much compassion for people. I love listening to him and the way he thinks about relationships. He's absolutely rare.
24:28 YES! It's YOUR dream. It's selfish to think your partner should support your dream when it's not theirs! I'm so glad he said this. At first I thought he was going to say, "You need to live your happy life" but not address this aspect. OWN the fact it's YOUR dream, not theirs, and that YOU need to weigh what is more important. You may love that person, but being so far away, I wonder just how genuine, real that love is. That's why marriage clarifies a lot of these things. Now, I'm not all pro-marriage. I'm single at heart and personally think in today's world marriage is antiquated. What I'm saying is that marriage is where you definitely have to think about breaking a legal contract and thus makes it more serious.
a relationship should make us both feel seen, appreciated, and deeply loved. That’s what I’m hoping for, and I’m ready when the right time comes.
The very first point in the video spoke volumes. I take my husbands kindness and sweetness for granted. I am more romantic and live life with passion and I want him to be more like me. This was an important reminder that I have much to be grateful for. We have 25 years in marriage and I want it to be for life. Thank you.
The second half of this video was gold. I realised that I have been getting better at setting my boundaries with men and communicating it better now when in the past I used to ghost. I love hearing Matthew and all his great advice. It's helped me more than anything
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I’m 51 and single I’ve been single for 12yrs too scared to get involved with anyone ever again… and I romanticise the idea of a relationship but I’ve never had a healthy one. So I avoid people all together and i know I’m missing out of a life a deserve but I know that finding someone is now slipping away because the longer I’m single and peaceful ❤ I choose my peace and my families peace, over the loneliness and the complex trauma, we are trying to recover from and I’m not throwing trauma into the conversation lightly we’ve been hideously mentally and physically abused by my longterm partner my children were removed from
His care by the police when they were teenagers we’ve suffered a life that no one should ever have to I feel so sorry for my kids… people change and you can’t escape… so as much as I’d love to have a lovely loving supportive partner that accepts me and my children and wants to allow us, to just be ourselves and learn what actual traumatised people trying to heal looks like ❤
I am truly sorry that you had to endure so much abuse and trauma that you've been left to choose to be on your own. I'm four years into a similar situation. Once you've been through so much abuse and trauma, peace seems to be the most precious thing that you could have even if it is accompanied by loneliness. I hope and pray that you can heal enough that having a companion in your life becomes an enhancement to your life and not a need ❤
Hello 👋
you are astonishingly beautiful and how is your day today and I will love to have a nice conversation with you
Such a good conversation… everytime between you and Matthew… so many takeaways and new realizations… thank you for sharing and for doing what u do both of you… making sense of what can be hard to make sense of in dating and relationships
As someone who’s been with his lady for 14 years. And always was a provider I lost myself being a provider and forgot what it was to have a relationship to the point I pushed her away. Away to someone else. What hurts is the holidays and kids and me not even realizing I was so lost until it was over . But I will come out of this a better person not only for me but for my daughter. These videos give clarity which is hard to find starting over.
49:00 literally you can control everything but finding the person who is meant for you is truly like an lotto game.
I wondered and feared WHY couples look bored, or dont talk to eachother or wonder why sooner or later itll get that way, but now i have a new perspective that its the individuals to always evolve and learn to keep yourself "fresh" and the relationship fresh.
Im sure it wirks if both partners understand and want this. Thank you !
I didn’t want this episode to end. It was fascinating and validated a some thought processes for me. Thanks for sharing.
Such a great episode. Matthew is always helpful. Mel, thank you for keeping it real by asking, "How rhe hell do you do that?" I am 60, still trying to decide how to handle my 31+ year marriage to a very incompatible partner. It is so easy to get stuck. I hope all watching this will take Matthew's advice about not wasting your time. Love to all.
I listen to this wondering if my ex and I were just incompatible or if she was a narcissist. The fact she had no remorse or was not hurt when she would hurt my feelings makes me believe she was a narcissist.
It’s not hard to bee singel, you have to feel good and live you life, when or if you find love you do, if not do something for you because nobody and only youself are the amazing life here and now. So live you life and keep smile ❤️
What Mathew is talking about around 5:50, I got it right away because that's the story of my life,the way people see me or not. And it doesn't just happen in relationships with men, but with family and friends.
When people meet me, they tell me how great they think the x, y, z are about me, then they start taking me for granted, especially men. But overtime I started seeing it with family and friends too, just not to that extreme. They all think it's normal. I noticed the difference in how they treat me or in our relationship, but only two friends have actually noticed it and told me about it and that was only when they started being friends with a bunch of others people while I was in a different city. They saw that they don't have the same friendship.
this may seem counterintuitive but don't be consistent, don't let them think your favors and care are your responsibility, don't let them get used to it to the point that they won't even notice it. Do them sporadically and don't use sentences like "it was nothing" or anything that makes less of what you did when people thank you and if they don't even thank you bring it up lightheartedly. Some people will still take you for granted and you can choose to invest in those people as much as they invest in you after you see that but then there will be others who will learn to value your favors instead of taking them for granted.
PS: all these must be very lighthearted and without resentment and as a matter of fact. "I'm not pissed or hurt that people don't value what I do, but I just won't do them if it's not valued because why would I do something that's pointless and takes time and energy"
I hope this helps.
@@Nikki..... Thank you so much! It helps, I wish someone has told me that years ago. That ship has definitely sailed a while ago with my family and some friends. They do say thank you, on the mos part, but it's the things in between that I noticed which sometimes make me sad.
I'll concentrate on being like that with men, who by the way, never thanked me for anything, it was completely one sided and quickly turned into "you're obliged to do..., and I'm still gonna say it's not enough".
As I start researching more into the Narcissist problems for our mother-in-law, I realize that "the apple never falls far from the tree". Most of the challenges we experience with our mother-in-law can be found in my marriage as well. I couldn't share my interests, thoughts and/or dreams with my wife without feeling a sense of D.E.E.P sadly.
As I listen, something comes to mind.
A saying I heard a couple of years ago, "we listen to reply not to understand." There are a few different ones like this but they all mean the same
Just discovered your podcast yesterday, and I love your originality and carefully selected helpful topics. I love you!
Love this! So inspiring! My mind’s been consumed by the thought of him. It’s been 6months he left and the pain of loosing him feels like physical ache. The laughter the memories,and adventure sadly it’s all gone. I’ve tried to get my mind off him and it seems like the more I try, the more I keep thinking of him. How do people let go and move on ? Cause It’s been months and memories of my man are still fresh. I miss him so much.
Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My heart breaks for you and I can imagine the pain and longing you must be feeling.
Last year, my fiancé ended our 3yrs relationship for reasons best known to him. I would cry all night because I couldn’t imagine life without him.
I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m here for u always.
I reached out to a spiritual counselor for some guidance and it really worked for me My fiancé and I are back together.
A spiritual counselor? That sounds fascinating
And how do I reach out to him .
Tnx for sharing that! I really appreciate your openness.
"Be happy enough that you can say 'No' to the wrong person." This advice is very helpful to me! And the idea that I'm doing okay if am just "happy enough" with my single status, and not constantly Blissfully Happy is also extremely helpful! It takes pressure off of myself. I can be "happy enough." Thanks for your balanced ideas, Matthew! 😀⭐⭐⭐
Hello 👋
you are astonishingly beautiful and how is your day today and I will love to have a nice conversation with you
a relationship should make us both feel seen, appreciated, and deeply loved. That’s what I’m hoping for, and I’m ready when the right time comes.”
Amazing guest. Such an intelligent and honest conversation. All so so true. ive been dealing with my lack of growth and have acted on it. I feel so much happier.
“We are the home”… love that brilliant thank you both so much :).
So true! Do not stop growing, because you have to be fresh for your partner. Engage in new activities! Shortly after we started dating my BF just started spending evenings on the sofa watching Netflix. 😔 not only gaining weight because he quit going to the gym, but also watching senseless shows, like cooking or barbecue. (Ps. He never cooked anything from that) 😢
Great episode, what I have an issue with is, the switching gyms/classes to meet other people. if you are a regural member as I am, you have a monthly membership, which is much cheaper, it is not that easy to switch every week to go to new places to train and will become pretty expensive. I am happy to swap classes that still fit with my work schedule, but I do not wantot switch gyms every month, definitely not every week. For me, my gym is my Sancturay, the place where I take care of myself and keep myself healthy.
This is so amazing podcast as I'm focused on career n never had any relationship.... Thank you for giving new ideas for relationships
Absolutely loved this! So glad I listened to this today...EXACTLY what I needed and so much more! My whole life thinking one way just changed in minutes. Please have more conversations like these! Thank you so much for this gift❤
It might be good to define what "letting oneself go" means. An ex told me one time that I'd let myself go, when the only change I'd made was to go on the pill, which caused weight gain. (Then I'd only one top that fitted when we went out & I couldn't afford more clothes at the time). Other than that, I was treating myself exactly the same. (Edit, I dumped him shortly after that )
I send this to you with a caring heart. You are kidding yourself. There are so many birth control methods out there and clothing, I love luxury, I shop high end stores but I’ve sometimes I can find basic items on Amazon, Home goods and even Walmart. You can do it, if you open your mind to new ways and ideas. Wishing you the best🌺
@@janetcorey5102Above commenter doesn't understand past tense in English.
Glad you let him go. He would have never been happy. appearances will change no matter how hard we try.
@@seagirl1100 Thanks 😊. Yeah, he was an idiot. Plenty of them around, I just don't bother with them anymore!
Good on you for letting that person go. Go you for boundaries! That person is likely addicted to p and objectifying. Love someone for who they are inside, not how you think they should look for you to feel better. Objectifying sucks
whoever is reading this and wanting a change in their life, just go read forbidden manifestation by zara blackthorn
Matthew & Mel - the dynamic duo I def need in my life - thank you for this collab ❤
A lot of people feel that yes their partner should be like them and that isn't always possible. People are different and have different values and are also in different places in their life. Their hobbies / interests are different. That's also what makes a person unique.
I have been hurt many times and i have decided to move on with my life but i feel like there is something still missing in my life, i need love in my life again
Please Keep Providing Us With Such Learning Videos. Thank You So Much Ma'am! 🙏
Thank you for great videos ❤ learn a lot from your channel 😊 thank you again
THANK YOU so much Matthew for what you said about entrepreneurs🙌🙌
Matthew's content is 🔥 and Mel love your questions and the points you bring up. Will have to listen to this one again and literally take notes 📝
事实是，没有新鲜事在关系里，即使彼此努力更新自己，没人是完美的…靠近彼此只是能量吸收，无论任何关系；然而特别是亲密关系，同频共振长时间使关系长久，反之亦然，关系长短的意义在于各人的人生观评。对我来说，都是人生经历而己哈哈，所以打造自己的能量处于高频或平衡状态，你就可以使自己幸福快乐！无需任何人长久陪伴哈哈😁
你也是台灣人嗎？ 我很少用 social media. 妳的觀念很相近，不管你是男的或女的，或許我們可以成為筆友。我的電郵是tiffanysu886@gmail.com 如果有興趣成筆友。
I really gained much from this beneficial podcast! THIS IS A REALLY GOOD 1 MEL, I enjoy listening to Mathew. He’s so good like you Mel Robbins 💯❤
Man, so much good insightful stuff here that just inspires me to be better and finally gives me the answers I need when I've had writer's block for so long.
This is so profound, thank you both!
Thank you Meal for this amazing podcast ,it was helpful and genuine .the way that you speak about compromise rather than judgement it is the fondement of any relationship
What a Great Podcast you were sooo Amazing !!! I love you guys you gave changed my life ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for your kind words! We're glad our podcast could change your life, but just remember, we can't take all the credit. It was mostly the amazing lighting and our perfectly coiffed hair that did the trick. 😉
It's so hard to build a trusted relationship. I don't even know where to find a partner.
it can't be an overnight process, trust God and pray that he helps you start because thats when you will built one.... all the best
Agreed
I ve notice though that a lot of people who try to teach others deal with their own problems and or have had years of unsucessfull relationships,marriages..its like u gathered the knowledge but do u keep havin disfunctional relationships? I like to listen to both matthew and lewis and both have had similar love life and its great seein them now in healthy relationship❤
I d like to ask would u recommend to give a relationship u ve ended a second chance after u ve done some work on urself or should u keep those doors closed forever?
Episode structure is not clear enough for me. Is this a part? If so, which part? And how can I access the whole episode?? Thanks!
Such a wonderful video & enjoy following U both(Mathew & yourself) SHARED MANY TIMES
I’m so thankful I came across your videos 😊
This was so good! I heard everything I tell myself and that feels great.
Thank you the content, I love your podcast.
Great one! Per usual. Love you both
Absolutely loved this discussion such an eye opener
Thank you so much for this podcast!! Very informative!! ❤
Thank you Mel & Matthew for this great video full of valuable information ❤🤗
Yes I understand entrepreneurs and yes I also understand the partners point of view. We all don't share the same values or enjoy the same things "activities."
I do really love seeing you both together!
Sorry to write on your timeline
But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
Lovely conversation...
Loved everything ❤️❤️❤️
I love both of you 🥰
Stay blessed 🙏🙌
Amen to this!
Thank you so much!
😂😂😅😅 “100 years old lady reminiscing on a fling “ 😅 love this!!
He is so right! Thank you for this!
To the point and very refreshing conversation ❤❤❤..
OMG - My husband slipped into a depression after losing his job in 2021. He doesn’t bathe, doesn’t feed himself if I don’t cook for him, doesn’t help around in the house. Nothing is done for me. I have to advocate for him for all appointments. I love him, but I cannot do this anymore.
I have communicated this with him regularly.
Excellente conversation ❤
Great video, you need to keep inviting Mathew not only for his great advice but because he is so handsome😂❤
😂
Great Info. Helped ME!
Excellent video. Thank you so much!
Thank you Mel and Matthew. What do I do if men see me and think only sex,without even talking to me or knowing me?
a relationship should make us both feel seen, appreciated, and deeply loved. That’s what I’m hoping for, and I’m ready when the right time comes.
That hour flew by! I thought I was only about 20 minutes in.
this was mega thank you :)
Thanks Mel, I appreciate this. 💚
this is so great!!
I would love to have dating and creating healthy relationships at 55 when you’re a confident widow who has done the work. I’ve been widowed for 16 1/2 years. You’re actually not covering widowed people. We need help too.
Well Advice ever!! ✨
LOVE UR PODCAST!!!!
Wait, what happened at 21min? Suddenly from the fact that we need to change the way we tell ourselves love stories (now I wonder well, from what to what? And how?), to complements??
What if just one partner is interested in personal growth? What if only one comes up with new ideas, passions. What if only one reads, develops new hobbies, loves to experience new things? And the other one loves all the way it is?
a relationship should make us both feel seen, appreciated, and deeply loved. That’s what I’m hoping for, and I’m ready when the right time comes.
Thank-you ❤
love this show.
The best way make ur self busy then u going to feel lonely and improve ur self physically mentally because strong mind handle bad things easily neither weak mindset
Love would find me when I wasn’t actively looking to fall in love.
Matthew 🙌🏾
Perfect one❤
I love this!!!!
I am dreaming of a relationship that will make me feel valuable no matter what. A person who will be my partner and we both sustain each others needs. I am losing hope. 😔😔😔
Almost considered following the channel if not so many adds
Well said ❤❤❤❤❤
Loved Loved Loved 🥰
This is true
Need things to talk about
But if I try to do anything for myself gym,yoga , group with people doing anything he gets. All bent !!
Jealous
Run!
Great video ,
Tell what a true love story looks and feels like..cuz mine is always augmented x5 inside my head.
I lost count on the # of times I shared this beneficial video I know for certain it’s over 10 times…